Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
