Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
