508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
