eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
