Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
