dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
