dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
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