that's an acceptable place to lick
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
