it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
