my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
