I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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