Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
