I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
