She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
