I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
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