her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
