i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
