why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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