these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
