I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
