I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
