i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
