how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
