Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
false alarm, still single
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
