For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
