you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
