Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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