I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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