I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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