hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
