oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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