I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Farmville is her only friend.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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