when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
