my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
