I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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