birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I want her autograph on my taint
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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