i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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