No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
