Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
We left an ass print on the piano.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
