Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
