Betty ford says i'm here all night
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
