I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
