I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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