grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
