how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
