I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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