I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
