Screwed.edu
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
