she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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