I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize