so explain again why im purple
no
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
