whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
