they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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