Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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