I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
pray to the hookup gods
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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