I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
