You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
