i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize