covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
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