I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
